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Someone caught me off guard in church last Sunday. I was bouncing down the stairs saying “good morning” as I passed people. Then, one gentleman replied with a little more than I expected.
“You’re an Ahnfeldt!” he shouted.
I stopped when he said that and turned around.
“Yes,” I said, smiling at him.
“I worked at the hospital for a while, and I knew your dad.” He was halfway up the stairs, but I could tell he had more to say, so I moved closer.
He talked about my dad making the hospital a better place, and about how impressed he was watching him work a rod into someone’s leg during surgery. I could picture it—my dad in his scrubs, veins bulging out of his huge Popeye forearms.
“Your dad was strong,” he said, savoring the memory. When he finished, a few people listening smiled. I half expected them to applaud.
What he said about my dad with so much pride stirred something in me, and I think he knew it. Everyone around us knew it.
There was a time when my dad could arm wrestle the mechanical arm at Showbiz Pizza and drive baseballs over the centerfield wall. That kind of strength is faded now, but anyone who tries to say my dad is weak would be dead wrong.
Just a few weeks ago, his Bible was open on his lap. He had been reading about a man named Jacob who spoke words of love and direction to his sons. The words, taken from Genesis 49, are not casual, spoken as an afterthought. They’re considered a “blessing” because they’re intentional.
As Dad sat in the quiet mulling over what he read, his heart was moved with an idea. And he felt like maybe the idea wasn’t even his.
Is this what you want, Lord? he prayed. His answer came like a whisper deep in his heart, and he knew what he had to do.
Later, after we had lunch together, Dad asked me a question.
“Erin, what would you think if I gave a blessing to Hope, David and Peter?”
This is going to be tricky, I thought.
Hope and David are my two oldest kids, and Peter is my sister’s oldest. With track practices, Peter’s musical, and work obligations, getting our schedules open at the same time would be like aligning the planets. It just seemed impossible, but I could see what Dad was trying to do. And if God could part the waters of the Red Sea, He could certainly open our schedules. We all prayed about it, and miracle of miracles, it happened.
There was one day—and only one day—that worked. My sister hosted a dinner, and while the dishes were being collected from the table, Dad set up the room.
I’m ashamed to admit this, but at first, I just considered the whole “blessing” idea something a patronizing person might say is “sweet.” I watched him set up the chairs like I used to watch my kids set up their play kitchen. The idea seemed cute—not something I’d call powerful.
When Dad was ready, we all sat in a half circle facing a couch where Hope, David and Peter were sitting. After a quick explanation of the blessing, the vibe was set. Then, standing behind all three older kids, Dad prayed.
“Father, we thank you that you’ve allowed us,” he prayed, his voice starting to tremble, “to not only see these people graduate, but also be part of their lives.” We heard the emotion in his voice, and suddenly Dad’s blessing didn’t feel so cute and plastic anymore, like my kids’ play kitchen.
This was real, and there was power behind it.
One by one, he placed his hand on the kids’ shoulders and spoke words he knew he had to say.
He spoke about the kids Hope would have one day and the blessing she is to everyone she meets.
He talked about David being like the David from the Bible—a man after God’s heart.
And he talked about Peter being a man of wisdom who loves talking about truth.
As he spoke, his eyes were glistening with tears, but then I saw tears begin to form in David’s eyes too. Like the beginning chords in an epic movie ballad, the moment was slowly building to a crescendo.
Dad finished by praying for each of the three grandkids, and the sniffling and tears continued until most of the eyes in the room were wet.
His words broke through the teenagers’ protective layers and softened them like a cool summer rain on dry grass. They were little kids again, vulnerable and soaking up every bit of love they could–not only from my dad, but also from the God who gave him the idea to speak in the first place.
And then it happened. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
David reached out and held his sister’s hand.
That’s right. He held Hope’s hand!
That might not seem like much, but I had goose bumps.
You know that moment when a butterfly lands on you and you don’t want to move? That was David holding Hope’s hand—it was fragile, momentary and absolutely beautiful!
My son recently started listening to John Mayer, so we’ve been singing along in his car to Mayer’s song called Say. Mayer sings, “You better know that in the end it’s better to say too much than never to say what you need to say again.” The timing of those lyrics isn’t lost on me.
That man I saw at church could have replied with a simple “good morning” and kept walking, but he didn’t. He stopped in the hallway and spoke about my dad’s strength.
And I don’t know how much longer my dad has left on this side of Heaven, but he isn’t wasting time either. He took a moment to bless his grandkids, demonstrating a strength much more powerful than the muscles he once used to drive baseballs over center field walls.
My kids held hands because their grandpa was willing to cast aside awkwardness and say what he needed to say. The Author of his story handed him a moment, and he spoke.
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Erin! Four of my god-children are here from Guam and San Diego. I am going to do this with them and their parents (god-parents to my children.) What a special way to deepen our connections. Thanks for sharing.
Cora, that is so great to hear! Thanks for sharing that! Speaking those life-giving words can go a long way. And you taking the time to let me know you’re thinking of doing that means more than you know. Enjoy the rest of your summer!
What a beautiful gift. Many in the church don’t have a dad like yours; maybe you will be able to share a father’s blessing . Thanks for sharing.
You’re so right, Sara. I was thinking about the fact that so many people don’t have great dads as I was writing about my dad. I’m hoping and praying those who haven’t had great parents find what their hearts long to find in the love of God. And yes, someday I hope to pass on a similar blessing to my grandkids. Thanks so much for your comment and for reading the stories!
Your writings are always a right word spoken in time. Thank you.
Thank you, Elisa! You are such a huge encouragement! I’m so glad God timed it so that we could work at the same place at the same time.
Your family weren’t the only ones with wet eyes, what a beautiful story! Since we expect our first grandchild in October, I will remember this story and do something similar for my grandchildren! Your father is such a wonderful example, you are so blessed to have him as your role model!
Thanks for this comment, Elizabeth. I’m glad the story was an encouragement, and you’re right, I am so blessed to have such a wonderful dad. Speaking of that, your grandkids are going to be so blessed to have you and Chaz as their grandparents! With your capacity to serve and love as well as the sense of adventure in your family. Wow!
Hello Erin. I’ve been following your blog for probably a year now and many times I’ve wanted to reach out and mention to you how touching and poignant your stories are. This one got to me in a very special way. In 1995 your Dad and Mom went on a mission trip with us to the DR. I have seen this lovely man in action. So I can totally see him offering an amazing blessing to your children. I love the way that that blessing has already softened their hearts and formed bonds between them that they didn’t even know they had. Praise be to God, Giver of every blessing. I praise Him also for your gift of communication. Thank you, Erin.
Wow Nicole! Your comments are such a huge encouragement! You have no idea how much this means. I am so thankful for my dad and his willingness to reach beyond himself to make an impact in the lives of others. And you’re right about the blessing softening my kids’ hearts. It’s amazing what kind words can do when spoken at the right time–kind of like your words in the comments you left. Thank you for taking the time to do that!
Dear Erin,
Thank you for sharing this precious moment of blessings. That’s just like your dad to consider this as important to do. I know you were blessed as well.
All of my memories of your parents reflect their intentionally choosing to share God’s love and purpose in our lives.
Mac and I love y’all and send greetings from Longmont and Estes Park.
~ Connie and Mac Neumann
Hi Connie! We also have such amazing memories of spending time with you and Mac. I can still remember you reading A Wrinkle in Time to us in the teepee. I remember walking along the trails at Spring Canyon as you spoke about the God of creation. You both have blessed so many, and I am so thankful you have taken the time to speak into our lives.
Such a wonderful account of your dad following the Spirit’s leading, Erin. And kudos to all of you for making “the blessing” time happen! I love that this became a priority for everyone, not something you just thought about doing “someday.”
Thank you, Nancy! Yes, we definitely had to work at making it happen. It’s amazing how often we have to fight for those moments that mean the most. As always, your encouragement means so much. Blessings to you, sister!
This is beautiful and inspiring bro and motivates me to be faithful to God in the moments he gives us and tells us to move.
Thank you so much for this comment, Matt! I’m so glad for your friendship because being around you always helps remind me to stay on the path with Jesus. You are such a huge encouragement!
Oh Erin. How special this is. I wish my dad had done something like this and my children had gotten to know their grandfathers. This is something that your children will remember and cherish in their hearts forever. Thank you for sharing this.
You’re right, Melinda. My kids will never forget what my dad did that evening. He is a huge blessing and so are you! Thank you for taking the time to comment, my friend!