Being 52, I’ve had plenty of opportunity to feel awkward.  Like wearing green tights in front of teenagers.  Or finding out too late there was no toilet paper in a Chick-Fil-A bathroom. Ugh!!  But ranked right up there among top awkward moments was being pulled behind a boat in Nebraska.

A couple weeks back, some old friends hosted us at their lake house.

Spending time there is always relaxing, but relaxation isn’t all that happens.  As Maverick once said to Iceman, they “feel the need. . . the need for speed,” and that speed is on the water.

Just after 7 am, someone gently touched my arm.

“Hi Dad.  We’re going out on the boat,” Hope whispered, “You wanna come?”

I stretched and looked up at her.  It took a minute to figure out what was happening.

“Um. . .yeah. . .of course,” I said, wiping my eyes.  Hope walked out of the room, and I pulled on my swimsuit.

After grabbing some breakfast, we all piled into Paul’s boat.  He drove us out to the calmest part of the lake, and on the way, Carrie gave us the basics of wake surfing–keep the rope between your feet while you wait, push down on the board when the boat takes off, slowly pull yourself over the wake.  And eventually, drop the rope and surf.

Paul slowed the boat to a rumble.  It was time.

“Who’s first?” he shouted.  And then each of my kids took turns slipping on life jackets, grabbing the rope, and eventually standing up on the board.

Everyone cheered every time they got up.

During Joy’s turn, David looked at me from under his towel.

“You gonna go, Dad?” he asked.

“Oh yeah,” I said.  I couldn’t figure out if my body shook from the cold, the nerves, or maybe a little of both.

Joy eventually climbed back in the boat, and I pulled on a lifejacket.  I jumped out of the boat and braced for impact, making a little bigger splash than my kids.

“Here’s the rope,” David shouted, tossing it in front of me as I bobbed in the water.

You can do this! I told myself.

“What theme music do you want?” Paul asked.  My favorite part of being pulled behind our friends’ boat is they’ll play your favorite hype song through their giant speakers.

“I don’t know,” I said, wiping the water off my face.

“How about ‘Thunderstruck’?” Joy asked.

“Yeah, that’s great,” I shouted.

Paul looked in the mirror at me as I adjusted the rope.  The engine rumbled like a growling cheetah.

“You got this, Dad!” Hope yelled.

I gave a thumbs up.

The boat’s rumbling became a roar, and the rope yanked at my arms.

My feet pushed down.  The water sprayed in my face, and suddenly, the water in my face was gone.

I was standing!

Sort of.

My butt stuck out, and I crouched down, desperate to keep my balance.

At least hold on, I thought, until the music comes.

Another wave, and I was jerked to the side.

Yikes!

I pulled myself over the wake, leaning forward and almost falling backward.  And then I heard it.

The guitar, the drums, and “Nana, na, na, nanaaaa. . .THUNDER!”  ACDC was booming over the speakers (CLICK HERE TO SEE MY ATTEMPT AT SURFING).

I clung to the rope, and as I held on, my mouth gaped open, like a whale shark trying to gather a few plankton in its mouth.

My concentration face isn’t exactly a Deion Sanders kind of cool, but at least I had “Thunderstruck” going for me.

When my turn finished, I climbed back in the boat.

“Anyone else?” Paul asked.

“I’ll go again,” Hope said.  Her words were barely out of her mouth, and she was diving into the water, grabbing her board.

As soon as the boat took off, she was up, like she’d been wake surfing all her life, and then her song, “Northern Attitude” started playing on the speakers.

Hope was feeling good.  She pulled herself over the wake, playfully moving her board in and out of the wave, and then I noticed something. The rope she held was hanging low, grazing the water.

Oh my gosh! I thought. She doesn’t need the rope!

That’s when Hope did the impossible.

She let go!

Everyone in the boat screamed over the music.  She was free, like one of those seagulls flying above her, and as she stood up straight on the board, she lifted her arms.

“Wooohoooo!” she shouted.

She glided through the water, and I couldn’t stop watching her smile (CLICK HERE TO SEE HOPE REALLY SURF).

That’s when, out of nowhere, I thought about another kind of rope–the book I want to publish.  It’s already written, but after researching and contacting agents, all that has come back are nothing but rejection emails saying something about my small platform.    

Hope continued dancing on the water free of the rope, and a question interrupted my thoughts, a question I knew wasn’t from me.

What would happen if I just let go?  What if I didn’t need to publish my book at all?

The very beginning of the Bible includes a description of the Spirit of God “hovering over the water.”  This may sound strange, but I’m sure that same Spirit was hovering over the waters of Lake Maloney, whispering to my heart about letting go.

And I knew He wasn’t asking me to give up a dream; He wanted me to give the dream to Him.

There’s an ugly enemy who laughs a gurgly, congested kind of laugh as he yanks me around with the ropes I cling to.  I hold on too tight to publishing a book, decisions my kids make, or even peoples’ approval, and I look like a man with his mouth gaping open and his butt sticking out, like a man who can’t stand up.

I want to surf the waves, whether they’re in life or in Nebraska, and hear God’s theme music over me.  I want to be free like Hope, or like our friends who’ve spent years enjoying that lake.  But the only way I can do that is to let go of the rope, and the only way to let go is to trust that the One hovering over those waters will never let go of me.

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